The Fatherland

I am what is commonly known as a half cast – two parents from two different countries. However, these two countries are far apart from each other as they are different. My mom is South African Zulu / Swati and my dad is Nigerian Igbo / Igbo lol.

So having been in SA all my life and my dad coming though to see your girl, at some point they decided it was about that time. It was about that time, to visit ..

The F A T H E R L A N D.

Research became my name. Chizoba Research Gule-Anozie.

Although I have friends who are Nigerian, it’s really not the same if you’ve never been. And on top of that, we spoke English at home (unless I was in trouble, the obviously…) so I wasn’t really Zulu enough for the Zulu kids either.

It was game time. I googled the weather, I googled illnesses and I even googled solutions to the illnesses just in case. Then, I did the most stereotypical thing: I googled ‘witchcraft in Nigeria’.

Who’s going to Nigeria ?

Not meeee😂😂 that’s who.

Between all the African Magic I’ve watched and the Universal Kingdom of Christ services I’ve been to, bru would you want to go ? Don’t lie. It’s just us here.

Anyway, I got to a point in my life after watching Love Ntwin Ntwin on African Magic where I was like, if I die, I die. It is what it is. I mean, we all die eventually right ? Why preserve for so long what will eventually be lost anyway ?

Yeah it got deep in my mind. I really wanted to go, but I was also really scared.

Anyway, fast forward to the date I was due to leave. One word: PROBLEMS.

I went to the airport with no tickets but my luggage packed lmao and decided then an there it was time to bounce. We got the flight to JHB but the flight to Nigeria had to be paid for , in JHB. meaning I had 15 mins to get from domestic, to intl and then board. Sounds chilled right ? Alrighttttttt :/ 🙂

I ran like Casta. Kids in primary school didn’t call me Drogba for nothing. I had to run between ABSA and the pay desk at Emirates 5 times because ABSA’s stupid daily limited held your girl back. I literally cried at one point coz I wasn’t fit enough for this game. The check in guy lmao God bless his soul stalled the booking for me while I ran up and down and called the flight hostess asking her to call when they absolutelyyyyyyy had to go.

Just when we thought we had things sorted, I forgot my passport at check in and only remembered when they asked me for it at customs. By this time, I obviously switched my phone of coz I was too scared to tell my parents I might miss my flight. like, nah. They don’t really enjoy those kinda games.

This sounds unreal, but it happened – because if all the drama of me running up and down to pay, the team was well aware of this young casta-drogba and so the security guard jumped over bar, I run under the bar lol and we ran for the check in desk. Homie at the check in desk was already on his way running toward us and he was like ‘ chichoba, your passport! ‘

Chichoba. lol chichoba. He was doing the most for me so I wasn’t tripping.

The security guard got to the check in guy before me and handed the passport to me. Told me to run and not look back 😂 flipping movie scene. I appreciate all and every security guards like I respect my cake – or possibly a whole lot more.






  1. September 22, 2017 / 2:50 pm

    Lol I love you and all your stories chichoba

    • admin
      September 28, 2017 / 9:42 am

      lmao :’) I love you too coco. The coco to my milk. I hope that sounds right ? :/

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