My mom was and still is pretty strict, so when she said I could spend New year’s with my friends, I should have known it would turn into a lesson some way or other.
Louvadia pulled up to the cribbo at 22.00pm on New Year’s Eve to ask my mom if we could go to town to watch the fire works. To my extreme surprise, my mom said yes.
The real reason I was surprised was because firstly, Louvadia pulled up already dressed to go out, so technically she wasn’t asking, she was informing my mom of the plans. At that age, you have to have a strategy – you ask when you are in pyjamas, then when she says ‘yes’, you start cleaning – maybe wash a window or two for extra measure – and theeen only do you start getting ready.
The second reason I was shook, was because every New Years crossover since I can remember, has been spent in church. So we will attend church at 22:30pm – 01:00am, spend the fresh new hours of the year with Jesus, then you’re free to live your best life with earthlings and the mere mortals.
I didn’t question anything. Out of excitement, I threw on some heels, waved goodbye and hurried to the cab with the rest of the girls before my queen mother could change her mind.
Spirits were higher than the current petrol prices and the excitement in the air was thick. This was an authorized trip, so even if I saw any of my mom’s colleagues or mates in town I could be calm because she knew I was there.
We finally get to town, and the cab driver says something along the lines of ‘ girls, when you want to go home, call me specifically and I’ll come and get you. Don’t take random cabs because it’s dangerous at this time of the season’. Never mind the fact that technically he’s also a random taxi driver from Taxi Man, or the fact that we have never seen him again since the night in question. We weren’t there to unpack technicalities, so we took his number and promised to give him a call an hour before we’re keen to go home.
Now, this particular night was my first time ever in long street, and I already wasn’t impressed. It was more packed than a train to town from belville during peak time and guys, as usual, were just doing the most.
We got introduced to a place called Abantu that sells cheap liquor and looks flipping dingy 😂 ( but is a well loved place by varsity students, I soon came to discover). Alcohol wasn’t my vibe at the time so I spent the time there looking at my reflection in the mirrors and watching people play pool. It was okay I guess.
In this time, a guy who was random ( to Louvadia and I) kept offering us shots. I got annoyed and by the next time he offered shots, I looked at him and knocked them off the pool table. Like, why you insisting with the alcohols bro?
Turns out this guy knew one of the girls with us, in fact, they had made plans to meet each other there. She just had not told us.
Cool cool, cool cool… You’re going to need to remember this guy. Let’s call him Chief.
We left Abantu and made our way to an equally dodgy place named … Spacebar.
At space bar, were put at ease because we were met by the Congolese boys and they were there squaadddd deeeeeppp. We told them about the Chief from Abantu who also somehow had made his way to Space Bar.
‘ It’s cool. We got this. We might feel like fighting later tonight, so we’ll do it with him.’ I think Levi* said this.
Anyway, the vibes continue and the evening is going well. I mean, my crush arrived (albeit he arrived with his girlfriend, but he still arrived) my mates were there and the music was good so what could possibly go wrong? ✨
Home time comes at around 3am and we’re all shuffling out the clurrrb getting ready to go home. Louvadia and I get ready to call the not so random cab driver from earlier, when the Congo guys tell us they all drove in to town so there is ample space, we should ride home with them.
I’m like, yup ! Louvadia is like, Yas! And then Cupcake who was being bought drinks by Chief says ‘nahhh, we’ll get a lift home with him’.
Now this is where the stupidity was lathered on thick on mine as well as Louva’s part. The boys said something like ‘ don’t go with that guy, we all live in the same area, let’s just go’, Cupcake said ‘yeah but I know him, we’re going with him..’
.. And that’s how we ended up in this guys, Chiefs car. That stupid mentality of listen, I can’t leave my mate alone so I have to go with her for her own safety. What we weren’t thinking about, was our own safety.
What hacks me is that we willingly went, in the name of ‘ power in numbers‘. There was no force, no guns, no threats. We were being mates and felt the need to go. Ask me to go now on stupid escapades and you won’t even hear a response from me ‘coz I would have left for home already. TF. Even Whitney Houston’s TRAINED bodyguard got shot. Who am I?
Anyway. We get into this random dudes car, and it’s okay. Until he heard me speak English. In xhosa, he starts going off at me for being a ‘coconut’ and nobody in his car will speak English. 👀 We’re on the highway and Chief nigga man is making these kinda threats. Due to me being the whoos that I am I stop talking real quick. Like, I’m not gangsta – who am I trying to impress by chirping back? Mouth 👏 Shut.
As we approach the Table View area driving down Marine Drive, we were supposed to take a left into West Beach but instead, he took a right. When we asked why, he said (lol listen to this) he said the car we were in was running out of petrol so he was going home to fetch the other one then he would bring us back. Cupcake is yet to say anything about mans’ behavior.
Now, now let’s not talk about the fact that there was a petrol station RIGHT there, or the fact that we had passed two more on the way to his place OR the added fact that we all had money on us. Most importantly, we will not discuss the fact that he had half a tank according to the petrol gauge👀 We’re not gonna talk about that, ok.
Chief turns right, and speeeddssss down the road on some need for speed shit. Driving over circles as opposed to around them and Stop Signs? What even are stop signs to nigga driving at 120km/h on a residential road😒.
He pulls in skrrr into his garage, him and his squadron get out the car, head into the house and switch off the lights.
So we’re 5 girls, seated in a car in a dark, locked garage in silence. ” Wtf bro? What’s going on?”, silence is broken by Louvadia’s question, who clearly is not here for the game of Hide and Seek ‘coz ofcourse, this is not pre-school.
‘Don’t stress guys’, says Cupcake. He’s gonna be back he’s just getting the other car keys (again, we will not discuss how there IS no other car in the garage we’re locked in. What? Does he keep this other car in his room?)
Some time later, the two gents come back out, lights on and announce in the most arrogant way ever ” tonight, you will all get fu**ed ! ”
😂Listen, the game, ladies and gentlemen, has changed. Do you KNOW what stress is ? All of us started chirping obviously out of fear, except Cupcake of course.
Cupcake was chilllllliiiiinnngggggg.
I can’t remember how it happened, but all of a sudden, Chief started yelling at Louvadia in xhosa for speaking English, and Louvadia yelled back at him in Portuguese for not speaking English (because new South Africa tings) and still, Cupcake was chilling harder than an ice block in a cocktail glass.
I , me, my thugless self, was in the corner praying, on some ” God please. If you get us out of this alive unscathed, I will go to church every single new year and I will be focused on the service. I will also read a page a day of the Bible as a start ” . I started understanding why mom said night life is not for the light hearted. I didn’t even chirp my prayer too loudly just in case Chief anti English heard me and came for me first.
It was silent for some time, then Chief, with a bellow he had obviously been reserving for this moment, summoned for Cupcake to get into the house…